Foreword
Thank you Alan for asking me to write this foreword, but most of all thank you for writing The Gag Book volume 2.
This is what everyone has been waiting for, I know I have. I first became aware of Alan's talent after ordering volume 1 last year and was very impressed with his compilation of gags. This second volume is again packed with first rate jokes and what a great reference book for anyone who is just starting out in comedy.
I have been a professional comedy ventriloquist for nearly 40 years and have a vast collection of joke books, but suddenly Alan comes along and so succinctly writes down the gags. They leap out of the page at you and you think, “That's it, that's the way that joke should be told!”
Alan is a master at his craft and this is the one gag file that I keep referring to. It's my “Comedy Bible.” This book is a must for any comedy entertainer, you can adapt the jokes to any situation and for me as a Vent they fit perfectly into a double act format.
I wish I had his books a long time ago, but now I have, I can't tell you what a boost the material has given me.
Dare we ask Alan, will there be a Volume Three? I certainly hope so!
Much success to you. Dawson Chance, Spain 2004
Contents include:
• Openers
• Audience Gags
• Loud Clothes
• Laughter & Applause
• Names
• My Wife
• Questions & Answers
• Doctor
• One & Two Liners
• Miscellaneous Gags
• Hecklers
• The Mobile Phone Gag
“I bought an oil painting last week called “Orgasm”. When I got home, I found out it was a fake! ”
“Started a new diet last week... a whisky diet... I've lost three days already!”
from “One Liners”
“You haven't quite got this heckling right have you? You're supposed to make me look like a prick!”
“Never drink on an empty head”
from “Hecklers”
I came down here yesterday afternoon with my gran in the car. We're coming down the M5 and she's screaming all the way. “We're going to die, we're going to crash, we going to get killed. I said, “Well let me drive then gran!” We got just outside (wherever you are) and I started shaking like this (hands in front shaking) I was so nervous. I've tried everything to stop the shaking, I've tried aromatherapy, hypnotherapy, massage. I've even tried that thing with needles... what's it called? That's it... heroin! I don't know what's wrong with the kids these days, sticking needles in their arms and sniffing glue, I tell you I have the same effect just standing up quick!... I thought I'll have a quick half of bitter. Now I don't drink as a rule because I'm not allowed to, me missus won't let me drink because I went out on the company do at Christmas. I was on my own because I'm self employed... I got absolutley blotto, completely out of my head. I thought, “I can't wake her up so I'll get undressed downstairs.” Now I don't wear anything in bed so I'm totally starkers and I'm walking up the stairs, when I got to the top I had the fright of my life... I was still on the bus!
from “Miscellaneous Gags”
THIS BOOK IS A MUST FOR ALL ENTERTAINERS!
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