Why Ultimate Discs?
Ultimate discs exist to make a DJ's life easier and their
presentation a whole lot better. When we say DJ, you can read Mixer, Karaoke
Jock, Radio Presenter, basically anyone who presents music in one form
or another. Ultimate's discs are so varied in their content that
there is something for everyone, and the range is constantly expanding.
The can be used by Mobile DJs, Bedroom Mixers, Fun Pub DJs, Studios, Remixers,
Radio Stations, and Club Jocks.
Ultimate Discs - are they good value?
Because of the care taken in creating Ultimate Discs, they do
not go out of date. They will be used for many years after initial purchase.
Furthermore, with an average of 150 tracks on the discs, the cost of each
track is only about 14p.
Who
creates Ultimate's CDs?
Unlike most other companies, Ultimate write, record, produce,
release, and distribute 99% of the material on the discs. Because of this,
it is the world's biggest collection of material written specially
for DJs by DJs. From concept to final disc, every aspect of use is thought
through.
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Just
what exactly is a jingle?
'Jingle'
- is this one of the most misunderstood words in DJ circles? We've
tried over many years to think of a better way to describe what we do, but
there's not really a generic term that suits it any better. Hot Drops,
Dance Inserts, Toolkits, Presenter Series, Sample Kits, Power Songs, - you
name it, we've probably thought of it. Come to think of it, we've
probably released it! We use the term jingle to describe a track that is
used by DJs away from their main music programming, usually for increased
impact and professionalism.
What
will Ultimate discs do for me?
Ultimate discs enhance your presentation, give you access to essential
material, and add that final 'polish' to your performance. They
give you the edge that makes audiences notice, and make you look even more
professional.
What's on Ultimate discs?
From 6 minute song medleys, to a 1 second sound effect, the variation
is enormous. Here's just a brief overview of what to expect: Full
Production Show Openers and Closers; Songs; Hot Drops & Inserts; Power
Sung Jingles; Year checks and Chart Positions; Dance Drops; Comedy Inserts,
Impressions, and Sketches.
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PRO USE vol.5
VOLUME 5 FEATURES A WEALTH OF MATERIAL WITH A GOOD SELECTION OF DEEP VO'S
& GOLDEN OLDIE MATERIAL
14 SHOW OPENERS
DMC & MASTERMIX DROPS
STAR TREK MATERIAL
KIDS VOICE OVERS
ONE LINERS
COMEDY SKETCHES
LAUGH BEDS
PATHE NEWS STYLE IDENTS
SEXY FEMALES
SHOW CLOSERS
A VERY VARIED VOLUME RANGING FROM COMPLEX PRODUCTIONS TO SIMPLE
ONE LINE DROPS. SUITABLE FOR ALL PRESENTERS.
SHOW OPENERS
ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR SECTIONS OF ALL ULTIMATE CD'S.
ON THIS ISSUE WE HAVE INCLUDED 14 NEW SHOW OPENERS INCLUDING A NEW VERSION
OF THE POPULAR COMPUTER SHOW OPENER THAT WAS A FAVOURITE ON VOLUME 2.
1. THE POTENTIAL ESSENTIAL OPENER.
A DRIVING ROCK BED WITH A RHYTHMIC VOICEOVER DELIVERY & STEREO SFX
ENSURE THE PERFECT START TO ANY SHOW.
“LADIES & GENTLEMEN, LET'S MEET THE MAN WHO'S EAGER
TO PLEASE & YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE HE'S GONNA CELEBRATE
YOUR PARTY NIGHT WITH EASE. GET READY FOR THE MAN AT THE BACK, THE MAN
WHO HAS THE KNACK, PLAYING THE BEST MUSIC IN FULL ATTACK. HOLD ON TIGHT
& YOU WON'T MISS A BEAT & YOU WILL SIMPLY HAVE TO MOVE YOUR
FEET. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, LET ME INTRODUCE TO YOU THE MAN WHO WILL
ENTERTAIN YOU THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH, IT'S THE MAN WITH THE PLAN,
IT'S THE MAN WHO CAN, IT'S THE MAN WHO HAS THE POTENTIAL TO
BECOME THE ESSENTIAL”. MVO [1:03]
2. SLAMMIN' & KICKIN'.
MULTI-SAMPLES, DEEP VOICE & EFFECTS MAKE THIS A CREDIBLE SHOW OPENER
WITH IMPACT!
“I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA DIG THIS, SLAMMIN & KICKIN, LOUD
& PROUD, INTERESTING & INFORMATIVE, STRONG & SINCERE, ENTERTAINING
& AMAZING, 'OKAY' YOUR DJ'S ALL OF THESE & MORE
... STAY TUNED IN FOR THE EXPERIENCE OF A LIFETIME”. MUSIC MVO [:29]
3. THE GRAND PRIX OPENER.
A SIMULATION OF THE START OF A RACE. A PA VO & THAT BASS LINE. CARS
REVVING UP BUILD UP THE ATMOSPHERE TILL THE BIG PULL OFF WHICH LEADS INTO
A MUSICAL BED & A COMMENTATOR VO.
PA. VO1 - “WELCOME LADIES & GENTLEMEN, WE'RE GLAD THAT
YOU COULD JOIN US HERE TODAY THIS IS CERTAINLY GOING TO BE THE EVENT OF
THE YEAR. TAKING CONTROL IN POLE POSITION IS THE MAN WHO HAS QUALIFIED
FOR THIS EVENT IN TRUE STYLE. RIGHT WE'RE UNDER STARTER ORDERS,
LET'S CHECK OUT THE ACTION ON THE GRID. THE FINAL CHECKS ARE COMPLETE.
ALL SYSTEMS ARE TUNED TO PERFECTION. START YOUR ENGINES, ALL PERSONNEL
STAND CLEAR. THIS IS A MEAN MACHINE & IT'S RARING TO GO. STANDBY,
ON YOUR MARKS, AMBER LIGHT - GREEN LIGHT, & THEY'RE OFF.”
PA VO2 - “WELL HERE WE ARE AT THE START OF WHAT IS CERTAINLY GOING
TO BE A GREAT NIGHT OF TOP QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT. EVERYTHING HAS BEEN
PREPARED & CUSTOMIZED TO PERFECTION FOR TONIGHT, HOLD ON TIGHT AS
WE CRANK UP THE POWER TAKING US INTO THE 1ST TUNE. THE EXCITEMENT OF THE
CROWD IS INTENSE WITH ANTICIPATION OF A RECORD BREAKING NIGHT THAT WILL
BE REMEMBERED LONG AFTER THE CHEQUERED FLAG HAS FALLEN. LET'S CHECK
OUT THE LEADER OF THE PACK, THE MAN IN FRONT, YES IT'S THE MAN WITH
JUST THE RIGHT MIXTURE TO TAKE THE LEAD FROM NOW ON. LET'S HIT THE
GAS & HOLD ON TIGHT, FOOT TO THE FLOOR FOR THE MAXIMUM SCORE - LET'S
PARTY TONIGHT!!!” MVO SFX [1:56]
4. COMPUTER SHOW OPENER VERS 2.
A BIG SHOW OPENER WITH A COMPUTERIZED VOICE & LOADS & LOADS OF
UNUSUAL SFX.
“LOG ON SEQUENCE COMMENCED, ENTER IDENTITY & PASSWORD, SPECIFY
ACCESS LEVEL REQUIRED, GREEN 1, PRIORITY CLEARANCE CONFIRMED, STANDBY
FOR ULTRASCAN, ENGAGED, SECURITY AUTHENTICATED, WELCOME, SPECIFY MUSIC
REQUIREMENTS, MUSIC SELECTED & LOADED, SPECIFY LIGHT SEQUENCE CODE,
PROGRAMMING COMMENCED, CODEING ERROR CHECKS COMPLETE, ALL DATA RECEIVED,
SPECIFY ENTERTAINMENT CO-ORDINTATOR, FACILITATOR TYPE SPECIFIED, DJ, CONFORMED,
ALL SELECTIONS COMPLETE, STANDBY TO ACTIVATE, ENGAGING ALL SYSTEMS IN
5 SECONDS, 4 SECONDS, 3 SECONDS, 2 SECONDS, 1 SECOND ENERGISE”.
VO SFX [1:56]
5. THE BIG COUNTDOWN.
A SIMPLE BUT EFFECTIVE 10 SECOND COUNTDOWN WITH SFX & AN EXPLOSION.
“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ZERO”. MVO SFX [0:17]
6. THE PARTY STARTS HERE.
DEEP VO WITH LOADS OF EFFECTS & SAMPLES.
“EXCITING & ENTERTAINING, HERE'S THE DJ WHO IS GOING TO
MIX UP THE BEST SELECTION OF QUALITY HIT MUSIC 'LADIES & GENTLEMEN,
BROTHERS & SISTERS' THE PARTY STARTS HERE....” MUSIC MVO
[:22]
6.2 THE PARTY STARTS HERE VERS 2.
DEEP VO WITH LOADS OF EFFECTS & SAMPLES INC. HELICOPTER.
“EXCITING & ENTERTAINING, HERE'S THE DJ WHO IS GOING TO
MIX UP THE BEST SELECTION OF QUALITY HIT MUSIC 'LADIES & GENTLEMEN,
BROTHERS & SISTERS', THE PARTY STARTS HERE....” MUSIC
MVO [.31]
7. EVIL ALIEN OPENER.
ATMOSPHERIC OPENER WITH AN EVIL VOICE LEADING AN OPENING SEQUENCE WITH
LOADS OF SCI-FI EFFECTS.
“OPEN IT, GET THIS MACHINE WORKING NOW! FASTER WE HAVEN'T
MUCH TIME, ALLOW ME, YOU MUST USE THE FORCE, TONIGHT YOU WILL MEET YOUR
DESTINY, LET US BEGIN OUR JOURNEY”. VO [1:06]
8. SPACE SHUTTLE LAUNCH OPENER.
BASED AROUND A SPACESHIP LAUNCH THIS OPENER BUILD UP UNTIL THE VO INTRODUCES
THE DJ WITH A MUSICAL BACKING & SFX ENDING.
“T MINUS 20 SECONDS & COUNTING. T MINUS 15 SECONDS & COUNTING.
T MINUS 10 SECONDS & COUNTING. 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2,1, WE HAVE LIFT
OFF. A MAN THAT IS NOT AFRAID OF THE UNKNOWN, A MAN THAT IS NOT AFRAID
OF NEW FRONTIERS, HE'S RUBBED SHOULDERS WITH THE STARS, HE'S
BOLDLY GONE WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE & HE'S RETURNED FROM
HIS LATEST MISSION TO BRING YOU A SHOW LIKE NOTHING ON EARTH. SO WE PROUDLY
PRESENT THE MAN WITH MORE DIP IN HIS HIP WITH MORE PRIDE IN HIS STRIDE,
YOUR SPACE WALKING FAST TALKING, DJ.” MVO [1:03]
9. TONGUE FIRMLY IN CHEEK OPENER.
A CHEESEY PIECE OF MUSIC WITH A SLIMEY VO PRAISES THE DJ IN A TOTALLY
OVER THE TOP MANNER BEFORE AN ABRUPT INTERRUPTION TO PUT THINGS RIGHT!
“EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE A DJ COMES ALONG WHO ENCAPSULATES THE MUSICAL
TASTES OF EVERY GENERATION. HIS FINESSE & SOPHISTICATION BEHIND THE
CONSOLE IS THE ENVY OF ALL HIS PEERS. HIS DRESS SENSE & MANNER IS
SO REFINED HE'S EVERY GIRLS DREAM....UNFORTUNATELY HE CAN'T
BE WITH YOU TONIGHT SO AT SHORT NOTICE PLEASE WELCOME YOUR DJ.”
MVO [:55]
10. THE SHAKESPEAREAN OPENER.
A MEDIEVAL CONVERSATION BETWEEN 2 ENGLISH GENTS ABOUT WHERE THEY ARE...AT
A DISCO!!
“IN SOOTH I KNOW NOT WHY THOU HAS SUMMONSED ON HERE WITH SUCH HASTE?”
“PRAY SILENT BE! FOR ONE HAS HEARD THAT THIS BE THE PLACE WHERE
IT IS RUMOURED THAT LADIES OF HONOUR DOETH, DAREST I SPEAK OF IT, DANCE
WITH UNRESTRAINED JOVIALITY”. “MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON THOU'S
SOUL WERE THE SPEAKING WITH SATANS TONGUE?” “OH FORGIVE ME
FRIEND BUT I FEAR IT BE TRUE FOR LOOK & THOU SHALT SEE THE ONE THAT
GOES BY THE NAME OF DJ.” “ALAS IT BE TRUEST THE WORDS THOU
HAS SPOKEN, WE ME MUST BE GONE FROM THIS PLACE OF SIN.” “LESS
HASTE FOR I FEAR IT MAY BE TOO LATE, THE BEAST HAS RISEN FROM THE EARTH
& WILLEST SOON PLAY US THE SATANIC SOUNDS THAT CAUSE THESE WOMEN OF
PURE SOULS TO BEAR ALL IN PARTICIPATION LUST I FEEL WILL PREVAIL.”
“AHH IF MISIC BE THE FOOD OF LOVE, PLAY ON”. MVO SFX [:54]
11. FIGHT THE UNFIGHTABLE V1.
A ROUSING CLASSICAL FANFARE IS THE BACKING FOR AN OVER THE TOP APPRAISAL
OF THE DJ WHICH IS ANSWERED BY A 2ND VOICE BASICALLY SAYING 'GET
ON WITH IT!'
“THIS DJ WILL FIGHT THE UNFIGHTABLE, BEAT THE UNBEATABLE, CONQUOR
THE UNCONQUORABLE..... ETC.” PUNCHLINE VO: “& IF HE CAN
GET HIS HEAD THROUGH THE DOOR, HE MAY GET ON WITH PLAYING YOU SOME MUSIC”.
MVO [:23]
11.2 FIGHT THE UNFIGHTABLE V2.
AS BEFORE BUT WITH A MORE DIRECT 2ND VOICE'.
“THIS DJ WILL FIGHT THE UNFIGHTABLE, BEAT THE UNBEATABLE, CONQUOR
THE UNCONQUORABLE..... ETC.” PUNCHLINE VO: “& HE'S
A DJ TOO!” MVO [:23]
12. THIS IS YOUR LIFESTYLE OPENER.
A MUSICAL BACKING IN THE STYLE OF 'THIS IS YOUR LIFE' WITH
AN IRISH VO & A 'PARTY' SHOUT AT THE END.
“YOU THOUGHT TONIGHT YOU CAME TO SOME CRUMMY STICK IN THE CORNER
DISCO, BUT YOU WERE WRONG BECAUSE TONIGHT THIS IS YOUR.. PARTY!”
MVO [:21]
THEMED GOLDEN OLDIE SEQUENCES.
A GREAT FORMATTED SEQUENCE OF GOLDEN OLDIE JINGLES WITH A FORMAT THAT
IS REPEATED FOR EACH DECADE FOR CONTINUITY THROUGHOUT YOUR SHOW. WE'VE
INCLUDED A STAR TREK STYLE, A TOPICAL MUSIC STYLE & A DRY VOICE JINGLE
FOR EACH ERA & A TRACK TO BRING YOU BACK UP TO DATE.
13. “TAKING YOU BACK IN TIME TO THE 50'S”.
TOPICAL MUSIC, VO SFX [:09]
13.2 “TAKING YOU BACK IN TIME TO THE 50'S”. MVO [:06]
14. “STARDATE, THE 1950'S,OUR MISSION TO BRING BACK SOME CLASSIC
TUNES FROM THE BYGONE ERA BEGIN TO TRANSPORT NOW”. STAR TREK MUSIC
MVO SFX [:20]
15. “BACK TO THE FABULOUS 50'S”. MVO SFX [:06]
16. “TAKING YOU BACK IN TIME TO THE 60'S”. MUSIC VO
SFX [:12]
16.2 “TAKING YOU BACK IN TIME TO THE 60'S”. MVO [:06]
17. “STARDATE THE 1960'S,OUR MISSION TO BRING BACK SOME CLASSIC
TUNES FROM THE BYGONE ERA BEGIN TO TRANSPORT NOW”. STAR TREK MUSIC
MVO SFX [:20]
18. “MORE HITS FROM THE SWINGING 60'S.” MVO [:04]
19. “TAKING YOU BACK IN TIME TO THE 70'S”. MUSIC VO
SFX [:09]
19.2 “TAKING YOU BACK IN TIME TO THE 70'S”. MVO [:06]
20. “STARDATE, THE 1970'S, OUR MISSION TO BRING BACK SOME
CLASSIC TUNES FROM THE BYGONE ERA BEGIN TO TRANSPORT NOW”. STAR
TREK MUSIC MVO SFX [:19]
21. “LETS BOOGIE ON BACK TO THE 1970'S”. MVO [:03]
22. “TAKING YOU BACK TO THE 80'S”. MUSIC VO SFX [:11]
22.2 “TAKING YOU BACK TO THE 80'S”. MVO [:06]
23. “STARDATE THE 1980'S, OUR MISSION TO BRING BACK SOME CLASSIC
TUNES FROM THE BYGONE ERA BEGIN TO TRANSPORT NOW”. STAR TREK MUSIC
MVO SFX [:20]
24. “THE 1980'S TOOK MUSIC FROM ELECTRO TO TECHNO”.
MVO [:07]
25. “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED BUT THE BEAT GOES ON”. STAR TREK
MUSIC MVO SFX [:13]
DANCE, DMC & MASTERMIX TRACKS
QUICK DROPS FOR USE WITH POPULAR MEGAMIX SERVICES.
26. “ESSENTIAL REMIX”. [:03]
26.2 “ESSENTIAL”. SFX MVO [:03]
26.3 “REMIX”. SFX MVO [:03]
26.4 “EEEEESENTIAL”. MVO [:02]
26.5 “R.R.R.REMIX”. MVO [:02]
27. “NON STOP MEGAMIXED MUSIC FROM DMC”. SFX MVO [:12]
27.2 “NON STOP MEGAMIXED MUSIC FROM DMC”. SFX MVO [:07]
28. “AN EXCLUSIVE DMC REMIX”. MVO [:06]
28.2 “AN EXCLUSIVE DMC REMIX”.MVO [:03]
29. “NON STOP MEGAMIXED MUSIC FROM MASTERMIX”. SFX MVO [:09]
29.2 “NON STOP MEGAMIXED MUSIC FROM MASTERMIX”. SFX MVO [:10]
30. “AN EXCLUSIVE REMIX FROM MASTERMIX”. MVO [:05]
31. “MIXING THE MUSIC & PUMPING THE BASS LINE WITH YOUR FAVOURITE
DJ”. SFX MVO [:08]
31.2 “MIXING THE MUSIC & PUMPING THE BASS LINE WITH YOUR FAVE
DJ”. MVO [:06]
32. “IN THE MIX (REPEATED) NON STOP MEGAMIXED MUSIC”.MVO SFX
[:21]
33. “NON STOP MEGAMIXED MUSIC”. SFX MVO [:08]
DANCE DROPS
CREDIBLE DROPS FOR USE IN DANCE SETS. OPTIONS ARE FEATURED ON
MOST TRACKS.
34. “LADIES & GENTLEMEN WE ARE EXPERIENCING DANCE MUSIC ONLY
FROM THIS POINT ON”. MUSIC MVO [:17]
34.2 “LADIES & GENTLEMEN WE ARE EXPERIENCING DANCE MUSIC ONLY
FROM THIS POINT ON”. MUSIC MVO [:20]
35. “LADIES & GENTLEMEN WE ARE EXPERIENCING DANCE MUSIC ONLY
FROM THIS POINT ON”. MUSIC MVO [:27]
35.2 “LADIES & GENTLEMEN WE ARE EXPERIENCING DANCE MUSIC ONLY
FROM THIS POINT ON”. MUSIC MVO [:13]
36. “MUSICAL TIME TRAVELING, HOT OFF THE MIXING DESK, HERE'S
A FUTURE HIT TUNE”. MUSIC MVO [:12]
TONGUE IN CHEEK & SUNG IDENTS
COMICAL DROPS & POWER SUNG IDENTS.
37. “THE DJ THAT PUTS YOU IN THE MOOD”. MUSIC MVO [:05]
37.2 “THE DJ THAT'S IN THE MOOD”. MUSIC MVO [:04]
38. “ROCKING THE NIGHT AWAY”. MUSIC SUNG VO [:07]
39. “THIS SECTION IS COUNTRY & WESTERN FREE ZONE”. SFX
MVO [:05]
CELEBRATION DROPS
FOR MAJOR EVENTS WE'VE INCLUDED POWER SUNG & DEEP
VOICE INSERTS TO CUSTOMIZE PEOPLES CELEBRATIONS. FOR A MORE COMPREHENSIVE
COLLECTION CHECK OUT THE OCASSIONS, BIRTHDAY, & CHRISTMAS DISCS.
40. “CELEBRATING YOUR 21ST”. SUNG VO MUSIC [:05]
41. “CELEBRATING YOUR 18TH BIRTHDAY IN STYLE”. MVO [:03]
42. “HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY”. MVO [:02]
43. “KEY OF THE DOOR, 21 TODAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY”. MVO [:04]
44. “CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 21ST BIRTHDAY”. MVO [:05]
45. “CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT”. MVO MUSIC [:06]
46. “CONGRATULATIONS FROM ALL YOUR FAMILY & FRIENDS ON YOUR
WEDDING DAY”. [:05]
LAST ORDERS
NOVEL & STRAIGHT METHODS OF GETTING THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE
ACROSS.
47. “IT'S LAST ORDERS AT THE BAR....NOW”. MVO [:03]
47.2 “IT'S LAST ORDERS AT THE BAR...NOW”. MUSIC MVO
[:14]
48. “LADIES & GENTS, BROTHERS & SISTERS, IT'S LAST
ORDERS AT THE BAR ..... NOW”. MUSIC MVO FVO SFX [:23]
48.2 “LADIES & GENTLEMEN, BROTHERS & SISTERS IT'S
LAST ORDERS AT THE BAR .... NOW”. MUSIC MVO SFX [:22]
HOT DROPS
MANY DIFFERENT STYLES FROM THIS GREAT BUNCH OF JINGLES.
49. “EVERY NIGHT THE DJ PLAYS THE GREATEST SELECTION OF MUSIC”.
MUSIC SFX [:11]
49.2 “EVERY NIGHT THE DJ PLAYS THE GREATEST SELECTION OF MUSIC”.
MUSIC SFX [:13]
50. “IN THE GROOVE & ON THE MOVE WITH THE NO1 DISCO”.
SFX MVO [:11]
50.2 “IN THE GROOVE & ON THE MOVE WITH THE NO1 DISCO”.
MVO SFX [:13]
51. “ALL BECAUSE THE DJ LOVES”. SFX MILK TRAY MUSIC MVO [:20]
52. “THIS IS THE DJ WITH AN ENORMOUS THROBBING.....EGO”. DEEP
MVO [:06]
52.2 “THIS IS THE DJ WITH AN ENORMOUS THROBBING.....EGO”.
SFX DEEP VO [:09]
53. “IF YOU HAVE A REQUEST WRITE IT ON THE BACK OF A BANK NOTE &
HAND IT TO THE DJ, THANK YOU”. MVO SFX [:09]
54. “PLEASE ASK FOR REQUESTS ... IF YOUR BIG ENOUGH”. MVO
[:06]
54.2 “PLEASE ASK FOR REQUESTS .. DON'T JUST EXPECT ME TO PLAY
THEM”. MVO [:05]
55.”HEY ANOTHER SMASH HIT RECORD WHICH I JUST LOVE TO DEATH, SWITCH
ON YOUR WIRELESS ANYTIME DAY OR NIGHT & YOU'RE BOUND TO HEAR
THIS”. SMASHEY MVO SFX [:20]
56. “BLITZ THAT HIT”. SFX MVO [:12]
57. “HIT AFTER HIT AFTER HIT AFTER HIT, ALL NIGHT LONG”. SUNG
VO MUSIC [:10]
58. “IN THE MIX & NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, WHATS
ALL THAT YELLING ABOUT, HUH?” SFX
SAMPLED VO [:26]
58.2 “& NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT”.
MUSIC MVO [0:05]
59. “I SAY THE DJ LOVES CHILDREN BUT THERE'S NO WAY HE COULD
EAT A WHOLE ONE”. POSH MVO [:06]
59.2 “I DO LIKE CHILDREN BUT THERE'S NO WAY I COULD EAT A
WHOLE ONE”. MVO [:07]
KIDS VOICES
BRILLIANTLY NOVEL TRACKS WHICH GIVE A REAL EDGE TO YOUR SHOW.
60. “IT'S RAINING ITS POURING THE DJ IS BORING”. [:04]
61. “I LOVE THE DJ HE'S BRILLIANT”. [:03]
62. “THAT'S A NICE BIG DANCE FLOOR PITY NOBODY WANTS TO USE
IT”. [:06]
63. “PLEASE WILL YOU PLAY SOMETHING A BIT MORE MODERN”. [:03]
64. “THIS DJ'S WICKED”. [:02]
65. “HEY DJ, WHERE'S THE BASS?” [:03]
COMEDY INSERTS
AS EVER - A VERY POPULAR SELECTION ON AN ULTIMATE CD. THIS SELECTION
GIVES A GOOD VARIATION IN STYLES TO SUIT MOST TASTES, & INCLUDES PLENTY
OF THE PATHE NEWSREEL STYLE WHICH ARE VERY POPULAR.
66. “THE DJ IS ALSO A PRACTICING GYNAECOLOGIST PRIVATE CONSULTATIONS
ARE WILL BE HELD IN THE CAR PARK AFTER THE BAR CLOSES”. PROFESSOR
MVO [:09]
67. “DON'T PANIC, THE DJ'S GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL”.
MVO SFX [:04]
68. “THIS DJ'S NOTHING BUT AN OLD TART”. MVO SFX [:07]
69. “NOWHERE WILL YOU FIND SUCH MUSIC, RAW TALENT, EXPERTISE &
SUCH A BIG-HEADED GIT”. MVO [:05]
70. “THIS DJ IS A FULLY QUALIFIED SEX THERAPIST, ANY FEMALES WISHING
TO EXAMINE HIS CREDENTIALS MAY DO SO AFTER THE SHOW”. MVO [:12]
71. “THIS DJ HAS GOT A SPLIT PERSONALITY & NEITHER CAN WORK
THIS MACHINE PROPERLY. “YES I CAN...” “NO YOU CAN'T”.
MVO [:13]
72. “THIS DJ IS OZONE FRIENDLY UNLIKE THE SMOKE MACHINE”.
VO COUGH SFX [:17]
72.2 “THIS DJ'S OZONE FRIENDLY HE DON'T WEAR DEODORANT”.
MVO SFX [:10]
73. “PLEASE DON'T ATTEMPT TO RECREATE ANYTHING YOU HAVE SEEN
HERE TONIGHT, THE DJ HAS BEEN SPECIALLY TRAINED & SAFETY EQUIPMENT
IS MANDATORY”. MVO SFX [:09]
73.2 “PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RECREATE ANYTHING YOU HAVE SEEN HERE
TONIGHT THE DJ HAS BEEN SPECIALLY TRAINED & HAS FULL COMP. INSURANCE”.
FVO [:07]
74. “THIS DJ PLAYS THE BEST ULTRASONIC & STEREOPHONIC MUSIC
USING BOTH TRADITIONAL GRAMOPHONE RECORDINGS & THESE NEW COMPACT DISC
THINGYS. STILL AS LONG AS IT'S ALL GOOD MUSIC WE'LL ALL BE
HAPPY WON'T WE BOYS & GIRLS?” PATHE NEWSREEL STYLE MVO
[:16]
74.2 “STEREOPHONIC MUSIC, A MARVELLOUS INVENTION FOR YOU MARVELLOUS
PEOPLE”. PATHE NEWSREEL STYLE MVO [:11]
75. “DRINKING LOTS OF BEER & LISTENING TO LOUD MUSIC, IT'S
WHAT EVERYONE SEEMS TO WANT THESE DAYS SO DON'T YOU BE THE ODD ONE
OUT JOIN IN THE PARTY & GET DRUNK WHILST THE DJ MAN PLAYS ALL YOUR
FAVOURITE GRAMAPHONE RECORDINGS FROM THE HIT PARADE”. PATHE NEWSREEL
STYLE MVO [:17]
76. “HOLD ONTO YOUR UNDERWEAR IT'S ANOTHER COLLECTION OF STEREOPHONIC
GRAMOPHONE RECORDINGS OF BIG BAND DANCE MUSIC FOR YOU TO GET DOWN &
SHAKE YOUR BOOTYS TOO”. PATHE NEWSREEL STYLE MVO [:14]
77. “SWITCH ON YOUR WIRELESS ANY TIME, DAY OR NIGHT & YOU ARE
BOUND TO HEAR THIS WONDERFUL GRAMAPHONE RECORDING”. PATHE MVO [:11]
78. “COULD EVERYONE WHO HAD SEX LAST NIGHT PLEASE SMILE, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH”. PROFESSOR MVO [:06]
79. “TONIGHTS FINAL RECORD IS FOR ALL THE GIRLS WHO'VE COME
TONIGHT WITH THEIR MATES”. MVO [:07]
80. “HANDS UP THE NYMPHOMANIACS OUT THERE, THERE YOU ARE FELLAS
GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE”. MVO [:08]
81. “IF YOUR NOSE RUNS & YOUR FEET SMELL YOUR PROBABLY UPSIDE
DOWN”. FVO [:10]
82. “THIS SECTION OF MUSIC FOR THE HARD OF HEARING”. MVO [:04]
83. RELIEF SOUND BED. MAN GOES TO TOILET. SFX [:12]
84. “A PINT, A PINT, MY KINGDOM FOR A PINT”. SFX MVO [:09]
84.2 “GET OFF YOUR TABLE & DRINK YOUR PINT”. COWBOY MVO
SFX [:05]
85. “YES..? AHH NOTHING”. SFX MVO [:08]
86. “BINGO BOOKS ARE NOW ON SALE”. SFX MVO [:16]
86.2 “BINGO BOOKS ARE NOW ON SALE”. MVO [:03]
SOUND EFFECTS & MUSIC BEDS
SOUND EFFECTS & 2 MUSIC BEDS WITH MANY APPLICATIONS.
87. CLAPS, WHISTLES, CHEERS SOUND BED. SFX [:19]
88. LONG LAUGH BED. SFX [:39]
88.2 DAFT LAUGH BED. SFX [:03]
89. 2 PEOPLE LAUGH BED. SFX [:20]
89.2 GROUP LAUGH BED. SFX [:23]
90. RIDE MUSIC BED. [1:43]
91. PHOENIX MUSIC BED. [1:44]
THE LOVE ZONE
AT THE END OF THE NIGHT, A SELECTION OF MAINLY SEXY FEMALE VO'S.
92. “TONIGHTS THE NIGHT TO BE IN LOVE.” SUNG VO MVO [:09]
93. “AH IT'S TIME FOR THE LOVE ZONE.” FVO [:04]
93.2 “THE EROGENOUS ZONE.” FVO [:03]
94. “PLEASE DO IT AGAIN JUST ONE MORE TIME”. FVO [:04]
95. “OH .. I THINK WE'VE COME .. TO THE END”. FVO [:04]
96. “I'VE REALLY ENJOYED HAVING YOU TONIGHT, I DO HOPE IT
WONT BE LONG BEFORE WE DO IT AGAIN”. FVO [:07]
SHOW CLOSERS
THE PERFECT WAY TO END YOUR SHOW.
97. “SO LONG, FAREWELL, AUF WIEDERSAIN, A DIEU.” SUNG VO [:04]
98. “LADIES & GENTLEMEN THAT IS THE END OF THIS EVENINGS ENTERTAINMENT.”
SLOW HANDCLAP MVO SFX [:09]
98.2 “LADIES & GENTLEMEN THAT IS THE END OF THIS EVENINGS ENTERTAINMENT,
STOP MESSING ABOUT”. MVO SFX [:13]
99. “THANK YOU & GOODNIGHT”. MVO CHEERING SFX [:19]
99.2 “THANK YOU & GOODNIGHT”. MVO CHEERING SFX [:06]
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